Motivation and Discipline - Your Passion is the Inspiration

Motivation and discipline.  We all know they're necessary if we want to succeed in life. We have to put in the effort and we have to stay the course.

When you have a goal, if there's true inspiration behind it - a true sense of passion, the task of accomplishing the goal becomes much easier.  Dropping habits that don't support your goal is easier to do. When your desire to have what you want is strong and feels like it's a part of who you are, there's no question you'll do what you need to do in order to get there.

Life is short.  Shorter than we think.  In fact, we really only know for certain that the moment we're having right now is the only one we can count on.  You never know when your life will change or even end. This is not to be morbid.  But  if we waste our lives half-living, we end up at the end of them with regret.  The things we "meant to do", or would do "once we had the time", just never seemed to materialize.  None of us wants to be filled with regret.  Because of this, it's important to seize life and live it as fully as possible.  Don't waste your time doing something that doesn't fill you with joy or excitement.  If you can fully grasp the concept that death can come at any time, you'll make sure you live your life as well as you can.  There are no more excuses for stalling.  You'll also find yourself living with more purpose in all situations.

So, what does this entail? It means being courageous in all of your choices.  You'll stop wasting time on things that don't bring you joy, or closer to your goals.  With each choice you make, and we're constantly making choices throughout the day, you're deciding whether or not you're choosing success.  I'm not advocating pushing yourself without also taking time for rest.  Part of being successful is doing everything necessary to accomplish this.. It means taking care of your physical body as well as your mental and emotional states. There needs to be balance in all aspects of your life. Rest is a part of accomplishing your goals. When you take care of yourself, you have more energy and enthusiasm.  Your results are better and easier to achieve.

Own Your Desires and Goals

When you know what it is you want, own it.  Claim it as who you are and what you're going to be doing.  Admit it to yourself and be willing to admit it to anyone else.  When you do this, you're stating that you'll do whatever it takes to reach your goal.  You've now committed 100% to following through. This is fully owning your goal or desired outcome.  

Letting Go of Fear

But what if, in the process of owning your goal, fears or doubts crop up? The closer you come to defining what you want and committing to it, the more likely it is your doubts or fears can show up. Fears such as, "What if I fail at this?"  What if I make a fool of myself?"  "What if they laugh at me or criticize me". "What if I just don't have what it takes to do this?"  These concerns can feel very real. They aren't pleasant and they hold you back.  In order to have anything you want, you need to be in complete alignment with your desire.  These goals and desires have to resonate, 100% within you.

When these doubts or thoughts come up, exam them and deal with them. This is the work I do with clients.  We identify what holds them back, whether fears, doubts, or belief patterns. The blocks are then released once and for all.  The final step is bringing them 100% into alignment with their inner strengths and goals.

To get rid of a fear or doubt that blocks your success, you need to exam it.  You need to understand it so you can easily let it go. When the conscious, logical mind comprehends the doubts and where they've come from, the task of releasing happens much quicker.

When you firmly make the decision that not only you, but your quality of life is worth much more than any fear, you gain the ability to conquer your fears and do whatever it takes to succeed.

If you're looking for ways to increase your discipline or jumpstart more motivation in your life, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals and ways in which to release these blocks.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

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Setting Boundaries - Your Value as a Healer or Sensitive Person

As a healer, do you recognize and honor your value?  This is a touchy subject and one in which I hesitated to write about.  But I feel it's something which needs to be addressed.  With that in mind, here I go.... 

Too often I see a trend among healers - undercharging for their services.  This article isn't about doing charity work. I do believe it's important for people to give back. Rather, this is about the everyday life of a healer and how we value the work we do.

What I've noticed among many healers, or other types of professionals who work outside the norm of traditional wellness professionals, is a general reluctance to set boundaries or charge a fair price for their work. Because they have the deep desire to assist in another person's growth or healing, they somehow believe they can't charge an appropriate fee.  Or their desire to help overrides what's right or fair to them. These are professionals who can be intuitives, astrologers, or people who do soul retrievals - any kind of energy work.

I want to be clear on the term "healer". It's a term that's used often, but we don't actually heal anyone. What we do is bring in the energy where a person's own internal wisdom, along with their body or situation which allows the healing to take place. What we bring to the session is what allows the shift to occur. Because most people are familiar with this term, (and there doesn't seem to be a better one, other than "facilitator"), I'll use it here for the sake of convenience.

The trend I see in general, is a lack of true valuation as well as firm boundaries.  Because this work isn't tangible, other than the results, people tend to discount it.  The thought for centuries has been, "If it's of a spiritual nature, you should do it from the goodness of your heart - not charge for it.  Or charge very little".  I see so many professionals in this industry who struggle with this idea.  I've also seen the flip side where people who want to receive the work are unwilling to pay for it.  Or they don't want to pay much.

I find this interesting because the usual feedback I receive from clients is, 'You've changed my life!"  This, after only 1 or 2 sessions - not sessions every week that go on for years.  Yet, I've still met people who try to get a free session from me.  I had one woman call me up, asking for help on a business deal.  This was a deal where she'd benefit, quite well, financially.  However,  she wanted me to give her the session for free. I found this interesting. If she was benefiting, financially, why wouldn't she pay for work that gave her the necessary information to pursue the deal or not?  She wouldn't go to a lawyer or financial advisor and expect them to give her an hour of their time for free.  She also wouldn't be willing to give her own services away for free.  

So, why is it not only clients, but many professionals in this field are willing to undercharge or not charge at all for their work?  Bills, mortgages, and rent are all a part of the real world.  A world in which we all live in.  When you do work, you should be paid for it. Some people believe that because it's something we're guided to do and something we love doing (helping people), we shouldn't expect to be fairly compensated.  I know many doctors, nurses and chiropractors who also love their work. They help people everyday in their work.  And they're paid for it.  Why does "divinely guided" and "love of work" equate to not being paid?  Because in today's world, in many people's minds,  if you can't see it, it must not have value.  However, if the work you do results in real value - a better business deal, peace of mind, the relief of trauma, then it is valuable.  The results should dictate the monetary value - not the process.

It's up to professionals in this field to understand the value of their work.  When you work in this field, and you give real results, ones which positively impact the quality of life of another person, you owe it to yourself, as well as your clients (or anyone who comes to you for work), to be paid fairly. It's up to you to set your rates and your boundaries.   If someone doesn't respect your work enough to pay you for it, don't work with them.  

When someone calls me up and wants my help, my agreement with them is:

• They make an appointment
• They pay me for my services
• They adhere to the length of the session - not trying to stay longer than the appointed time.
• They don't call me for a "free follow up" - I do give 5-minute complimentary follow ups, either by text or phone. But they're exactly that - 5 minutes.  Anything longer and it means there are more layers to be worked on. This means booking another appointment.

These are all common business practices.  Until healers are willing to look at their work as a genuine business, and hold their clients accountable, they won't receive the payment or respect they deserve.

The clients I have now are wonderful. They're respectful and appreciative of the work I do.  I feel fortunate to work with these people.  But it took me a long time, and encounters with too many people trying to receive my work for free, to finally realize my worth.  From people who'd  call and say they "only needed 5 minutes of my time" -  25 minutes later, I was still on the phone with them.  They thanked me profusely for my help, but didn't offer to pay for my time or work.  Or the clients, when I didn't have an appointment right after them, who would stay an extra 30 or 40 minutes.  Because I cared so deeply about helping them, I allowed this type of behavior. 

In most cases, people aren't trying to consciously take advantage of you. They're struggling with something and are looking for ways to deal with it. But they need to understand the work you do is real and it takes effort. It appear easy, but it's usually taken years to learn and refine. It's a business like any other. 

What I've learned, is it's up to me to know my worth and then stick to it. Sometimes you have to have the difficult conversation of, "I'm sorry, but this is much more than a 5-minute conversation".   I've found that the people who didn't want to pay for my services, were the ones who weren't willing to take responsibility for their own healing. They were either struggling with their own self-worth issues, not willing to invest in themselves or their healing. Or they were someone who didn't respect or value another person's time or effort. 

This is their own work to do. When they're ready to step up and invest in themselves, they'll be happy to pay someone for their assistance. The best thing you can do as a healer, is to facilitate a person's self-worth by sticking to your understanding of your own value.

As empaths, we feel other people's emotions.  When you feel their pain, it can be very difficult to witness and not want to jump in and help.  It's the old, "It doesn't take much for me to help".  But each time you do, not only do you disrespect yourself, but you also rob them of their journey of healing, learning and growing.  Someone very wise once told me, 'It you try to do it for another person, you're only robbing them of their soul's lessons.  They'll have to go through them eventually.  You're only delaying it - not helping them."

Our journey is to realize this is where someone's at right now.  We can empathize and wish the very best for them.  But the very best is in having them discover their own power.  Their own ability to heal and grow.  When someone taps into their own power, they have the ability to move mountains. If you aren't able to believe in them enough to support this path of growth, (by thinking you have to "do it for them"), you actually aren't serving them. 

Something you can ask yourself, "Will I hold the vision of them as capable and able to heal?", or are you envisioning them as helpless or a victim?  It can be hard sometimes, but by believing in another person's ability to heal, you're in essence, empowering them. When you hold the vision of their capabilities, you're helping them far more than you know. Believe in yourself and believe in them. 

 A final thought. When you value yourself, your work, and set firm boundaries, you're practicing healthy self-care. The better you care for yourself, the more you're able to give to those around you.

If you want more clarity on your real value, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals and ways in which to come more into alignment with your true worth.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumihouston.com

(805) 265-9063

Information on Sumi Jones and her website.

Pursuing What You Love to Find Real Happiness

Do feel joyful a good part of the time?  Or are you feeling as if there’s something missing in your life? If you’re not feeling joy, peacefulness, or contentment on a regular basis, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your life. If you aren’t filled with a passion for what you’re doing, no matter what it is, then it’s time to explore what it is that you do love.

Joy and  passion are the barometers of whether or not we’re following the path of our souls and destiny in life. Yes, we all go through challenges from time to time. But if you’re not regularly feeling joyful or excitement about life, then you’re not doing what you’re meant to do. You're not utilizing your unique gifts that you were born with. Maybe this sounds harsh, but I see too many people who just accept life as it is – just moving through life on auto-pilot. Complacency is not contentment. It’s “settling”. We weren’t meant to settle. We were meant to bring our gifts and strengths out into the world so others can benefit from them, as well as ourselves. If you settle in life, you live a life of “half alive” and a slow, but painful existence. When we’re afraid to risk trying something, we’re settling for how things are and have been. We’re afraid of pain, such as failing. But isn’t it more painful to just go along without any real joy or passion in your life? Is half-living what you intended for your life? Ask yourself which is more painful? Living a joyless life, or having an occasional setback on your way to happiness and fulfillment?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help define what you love doing.

1. What’s the one thing I’m hiding from the world?  There might be several.  Many times we hide the things we enjoy doing the most.  Or we only do them as hobbies.
2. Is there something I’m afraid to explore in case I ‘fail’, or ‘aren’t good enough’ at?
3. Is there a dream I’ve had, but haven’t had the courage to follow?
4. What do I love doing? What fills me with excitement or passion when I do it or think about doing it?
5. What did I love doing as a child? Sometimes this leads to what we still like doing as an adult.

By playing it safe and not trying the things you love, you rob yourself of the most exhilarating way of living. Yes, it can be scary from time to time. To put yourself out there can make you feel quite vulnerable. But the rewards for yourself and for others more than makeup for the initial fear.

There are people in your life who will advise against taking a chance on your dream. They mean well. But ask yourself, “Are these the people I admire for the life they’re living? Are they living fully with purpose and joy?” Or, are they perhaps, also living safely, without heart or courage? As Brene Brown says, “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart.  In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” When you share your heart’s desires with the world, you’re living your truth.

As children we knew exactly what we loved doing. Most of us were allowed to dream and do what it was we loved doing. However, as we grew up, well-meaning adults advised us to be realistic or “more practical” in our lives. Thankfully, for me, I never listened.

As a child, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. A ballet dancer first, and then to somehow have horses in my life. I loved both of these passionately and went on to dance with one of the greatest ballet companies and choreographers in the world - NY City Ballet. After I retired from dance, I went into the horse business, training horses and riders at the major shows on the East coast. I looked back recently and wondered how it was I’d accomplished both careers successfully? What was it that helped me to be successful in not one, but two careers of my choice? Two very different careers. I realized that I never took my eye off of my goal. I never allowed anyone to talk me out of my dreams. I loved dancing with all of my heart, as I did horses. There was never a question in my mind that I’d accomplish my dreams. Besides dreaming about horses and ballet, and drawing them constantly, I also put in the effort, every day, to accomplish those dreams. But it was my love of these things which fueled my efforts.

To put your dream or yourself out there can feel daunting. Rather than dive in, wholeheartedly, (although that’s one way to do it as well!), you can take small steps. Steps that feel manageable so you can get comfortable with the process. Commit to taking these steps every day. Or if your schedule is too busy right now, commit to doing one small step per week. Once you’re committed to doing this, the momentum usually takes over and it becomes easier and easier to do.

Stay open to your excitement and how it leads you forward or in new directions. There’s nothing like living life out loud and in the way which makes your heart sing. When you do this, it’s contagious. Others benefit as well – even if it might only be from your feelings of joy. Most often, it’s much more. You give them permission by your example, to follow their dreams.

If you feel blocked in following through on your dreams or goals,  my specialty is helping people identify what gets in the way of living with joy and fulfillment. 

When you're ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals.  You can ask any questions you have about the work I do. I look forward to connecting with you.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumihouston.com 
(805) 265-9063

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Negative Thinking - How it Affects You

Do you ever pay attention to your thoughts?  Do you notice if your thoughts lean more towards negative thinking, or are you able to turn them around and stay positive?

Negative Thinking and How it Can Affect You

Your thoughts are patterns which create your moods - both present and future moods.  They impact your general outlook.  In the current state of affairs worldwide, it's certainly understandable that people are having a hard time staying positive - or to even focus on what's going well.  We're constantly witnessing horrific events around the globe.  Of course we're all moved by these events. But if we want to maintain an upbeat attitude and thrive in our lives, we have to be aware of where we allow our focus to linger.  We don't do ourselves or anyone else much good if we allow our thoughts to turn negative.

Deal in Reality and Then Choose Your Focus

I'm not suggesting we pretend something doesn't bother us when it does.  Doing that leads down the road of denial, which certainly isn't the one to true happiness or joy.  You feel emotions and react to them.  This is normal and healthy.  But what do you do once you've noticed?  Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts and emotions over and over again?  Or are you able to notice them, deal with them, and then choose to focus on a positive?  If you can shift your focus off the negative, you have a better chance of being able to do something about a situation you don't like.

If you allow yourself to remain in the negative thinking pattern, you're training your brain to focus on this. It doesn't serve you if you want a happy or productive life.  When  you're down, or only looking for the negative aspects of life, it's hard to move forward in life and give your best.

When you continually concentrate on negative thoughts or emotions, you're grooving the neural pathways of your brain.  The more you "practice" these emotions, the more readily you drop into these emotions or ways of thinking.  If this isn't what you want, it's time to reconsider how much time you devote to negative thinking.

What is your Default Emotional Outlook?

In other words, what is your main point of reference? Do you look for "What's right?" in a situation or in another person, or do you find yourself looking for "What's wrong?"  Maybe you've never even thought of it this way.  I know years ago, I had no idea the way I viewed the world was through "What's wrong with this picture?"  It was just my way of thinking and problem solving.  I viewed life and situations as "what needed to be better about this?"  It's just the way I was raised, so I thought it was normal.   Thankfully, someone I knew pointed it out to me and I was able to change my perspective about life. If you notice this is one of your habits, you can decide to change how you view the world at any time.  It just takes some practice in doing it.

Retrain your thoughts

Believe it or not, you can actually train your mind to focus on positives.  By doing so, you end up changing what your brain looks for in every circumstance.  When you "practice" looking for the positive, it becomes a habit. This also begins to groove the positive neural pathways in your brain. So, good news!  You can change your outlook and even moods by practicing a positive outlook.

This isn't to encourage denial in anyway.  I never advocate pretending there isn't something wrong or negative when there is.   It's about honestly looking at a situation, person, or event, seeing all sides of it, and then choosing which part of it you'll put your focus on.

Over time, you'll discover you begin to notice all sorts of great things.  You'll find you're in a better mood more naturally and you'll even feel grateful for just being alive.  It's a fabulous feeling. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes.  And the happier you are, the more positive impact you have in not only your life, but in the lives of the people around you.

In future articles I'll be looking at ways to shift your thoughts and let go of recurring negative thoughts.  EFT , a method to let go of any blocks or past traumas.  This powerful tools is one of my favorite ways to uncover and release negative thinking.  I'll be giving some examples of tapping on letting the negative thoughts go.

To identify and release any blocks you have to fully valuing yourself, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals.  You can ask any questions you have and we'll see if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

The Differences between men and women

There are many differences between men and women. It's talked about and written about all the time. But how can the differences between men and women strengthen our lives, rather than cause upsets? Is there a way to understand the difference between men and women so we use them as a source of positive interactions rather than quarrels and misunderstandings?

Alison Armstrong  has spent years interviewing thousands of men in order to understand how they differ.  She did this as a way to find the right man for herself because until then she'd had several failed relationships. What came about was an entire of courses, workshops, books and dvd's devoted to educating both sexes on the differences between them and how they can learn to have stronger relationships because of these differences. Two of my favorites are:

Making Sense of Men: A Woman's Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men, and Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery.

These books, or audio courses, help both genders understand how we differ and how to navigate healthy and happy relationships.

What I've learned is these differences hold true for all relationships.  Whether it's with our children, our spouses,our friends.....

And even our co-workers.  

When you take the time to learn about the differences, you'll gain an understanding of what drives a person.  In situations where you once were baffled, or even upset by their actions, you now have a different point of view.  If you're a woman, you suddenly realize your co-worker was focusing on what he considered the most important aspect of the project, rather than ignoring your input.  Or you might realize your husband wasn't ignoring you on your drive to the restaurant, but because of the way his brain differs from a woman's, he was focusing on driving you both there safely. While his focus is on the aspect or driving and finding the restaurant, it can be difficult for him to carry on small talk.  This is not good or bad, it's how the male and female brain differ.

What guys need to understand about women, is when we're overwhelmed, many times we only want to vent for a moment.  We just need to get it out.  We're not looking for you to fix it.  Most times you can relax without feeling you're responsible for making it better or coming up with a solution to the problem. There are times when we only want someone to listen..  This takes the pressure off the guy to make us happy. He doesn't need to try and come up with ways for us to cope with an issue. Yes, there are times when we need your input and advice. But most times, we don't.  This gives you the opportunity to be supportive by listening while the pressure is off of you.

Women have what is known as "diffuse focus", which allows us to focus on more than one thing, whereas the male brain is wired to focus on only one thing at a time. This is referred to as "single focus".   Women are meant to have children.  Throughout history, we've been the caregivers. It's more inline with our natures.  Men were the hunters and providers.  They need to be able to focus on only one thing at at time - catching the prey.  Women on the other hand, have typically raised the children, gathered the herbs, vegetables, etc for the meals. Even though our roles have greatly evolved over the years, evolution hasn't caught up yet.  It takes millions of years for the body to change and adapt.   As a result, women still have brains that can more naturally pay attention to more than one thing at a time, while men's brains have a harder time of it.  So women, before you start getting impatient with your male partner over his inability to pay attention to more than one thing at a time, recognize how challenging it must be for him to have to deal with our "over thinking" most things. With the capacity to focus on more than one thing at a time, our brains can really get going and think too much many times.  It's up to both sexes to have more acceptance for how we differ from one another. Because of how we differ, we actually enrich each others' lives, instead of making them miserable.

If, as men and women, we take the time to have a better understanding on how the opposite sex is wired, both mentally and emotionally, we gain a valuable asset in knowing how to communicate with them.  We also learn how to improve our relationships by addressing exactly what the issue between us is.  When we understand how the opposite sex thinks or feels, many times the issues don't even come up because we realize they weren't an issue in the first place.

If we can recognize that everyone we know is doing the best they can, given their own set of circumstances, and that the differences between men and women are just that - different ways of moving through life, we stand to bring more compassion and acceptance into the world.  When people speak of world peace, this is where it begins - with each individual doing their part in learning to understand and have compassion for others.  I encourage you to take the time to learn about the differences between men and women.  Once I did, it completely changed how I viewed the opposite sex.

To identify and release any blocks you have to fully valuing yourself, book a complimentary call.  We'll discuss your goals and how you can let go of what blocks you.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

Choose Happiness

You have a choice.  Believe it or not, you do.  If you want to be happy, you first have to make the decision to choose happiness.

The first step in any process of change or action, is making the decision.  If you want happiness, then make the decision to have it. Before you can do anything in life, there needs to be the conscious decision it's what you want. Once you've made the decision, you move into action. Action is taking the necessary steps to reach your desired goal. 

Choose Happiness - How your commitment makes a difference

Once you decide to be happy, in order to achieve success, you need to be 100% committed to it. Your whole being needs to resonate with that choice.  If not, your results will be diminished.  Yes, you can have some happiness, but the road to it will be more difficult if you're not entirely aligned with it.

If you aren't in alignment with what you want, there's resistance in you.  Our bodies and minds want to feel peaceful and in alignment with what's true for us.  Whether it's a conscious, or subconscious resistance, it dramatically affects what we can accomplish.  What are your truths? Your actual truths. Not the truths your mind came up with as a means to protect you.  These aren't truths, they're beliefs. If your beliefs don't match the idea of having in your life, then the amount of happiness you achieve, is created by whatever you hold in your subconscious.

Common beliefs that get in the way of your ability to choose happiness

So what are some of the more common beliefs that hamper a person's happiness? 

Here are a few:

1. Life is hard
2. Life is tough
3. Everyone I know is miserable, why should I think I'm any different?
4. I don't deserve to be happy because........ (Here is where guilt or shame come in from past behaviors or actions we've taken)
5. I can't be happy until I have, achieve, or accomplish......

The belief that our happiness depends on what we acquire, achieve, or accomplish fools us into believing we can't just be happy because we're alive.  Any of the above beliefs can keep you from having happiness. It's our attitude that determines if we're going to be happy or not.  If you want to be happy, you need to identify any beliefs you have getting in the way of your happiness. Then do the work to change or release them. 

There's a great story about 2 little boys.  They were each put into a room filled with manure. After about 30 minutes, the adults opened the door to the one of the rooms. Forlornly sitting in the corner was the first boy.  He was downcast. When they asked him why, he replied, "There's all of this manure and it's awful. I'm having a horrible time." They then went to the second room.  When they opened the door they discovered the other boy joyfully laughing and digging through the manure. They were astonished. When they asked him why he was so happy, his reply was, "With all this poop, there's bound to be a pony under here somewhere!"

The moral of the story is, you can choose to be positive, or negative.  Recognize that it's up to you to change your attitude and to choose happiness.  There are steps to take that can help this process along. But the very first part is making the decision.  Decide what you'll choose.

If you want to learn about ways you can increase your happiness, book a complimentary call to see if I can be of service.  You can ask any questions you have about the work I do and how it can help you.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063

Want an exciting, successful life?

How do you create an exciting, successful life?   Change your beliefs!

Beliefs, whether conscious or not, affect how we move through life.  It's the intentions we hold within our subconscious minds that determine how we approach life. If you want an exciting, fulfilling life, your beliefs have to match up with your intentions.  There's no way around it. Our subconscious beliefs determine our quality of life and the outcomes we manifest.

Successful people hold positive ways of thinking and beliefs in their minds.  Their "belief system" supports them in moving through life with a purpose and with the knowledge they can succeed at whatever they attempt.

The person who is not so fortunate in life, tends to view life as if it’s ‘being done to them” and that they have very little control over the outcome. This is an understandable view in many cases -particularly if the person has had hardships early in their life.

Where did these beliefs come from?

Our early life impacts us on very deep levels.  If our childhood was difficult or traumatic, the decisions we make tell us "life is hard", or "no one in my family gets ahead".  This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Someone with this belief doesn't usually take advantage of opportunities which present themselves.  Because they have the belief that "Life is hard", they discount an opportunity because it couldn't possibly work out if it wasn't difficult. Many times, they don't even notice the opportunity.  It's as if they have blinders on.

When you discover and release any of these underlying negative beliefs, your outlook changes, along with your life.  You develop more clarity and can see a clearer path towards your desired outcomes.

When we experience situations or events in our lives, we make a decision about what they mean. We assign a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ meaning to the event. This is done as a way to avoid future upsets or even dangers.  Depending on prior experiences in life, our decision are based on, and tempered by former decisions we assigned to similar situations. As these similar types of situations repeat and build upon themselves, they reinforce our original belief.  Whether it's factual or not, it becomes more and more ingrained.

Situations that occurred at an early age in our lives are judged by an immature brain. This brain doesn't have access to the logical brain.  Because of this, the decisions we made at that point in our lives, aren't necessarily true for us as adults.  It's for this very reason you want to go back and reassess past events.  From your adult self, you have the option to decide if these beliefs still hold true.  If they don't, you can now get rid of them.

Where do I start?

One way to identify any negative, or limiting beliefs is to think back to the messages you heard from your parents while you were growing up.  Things like, "It's impossible to get ahead", or "There's never enough time".  Then take a look at your life and see whether or not you've found yourself living out these messages.  If you are, then there's  a pretty good chance you hold those beliefs as true, somewhere in your subconscious.

Another reason to take a look at past events, especially the painful ones, is we tend to experience the  “like attracts like” effect.  We continue attracting more of the same into our lives. Until we can shift our perspective, we aren’t able to avoid these reoccurring patterns.

When you go back and release the emotional charges associated with a past emotional event or trauma, you change how you view present day events.  Instead of approaching situations from the stand point of being ‘the victim’ with no control of your own reactions, you actually view them with clarity.  You're  more present and you have a choice in how you react.

When you do this type of healing work, your response is made from a stronger and clearer place. Consequently, your reactions change, how you approach life changes, and you're planted firmly on the path to success and happiness. Because of your updated beliefs, you're naturally filled with more ease and can create an exciting, successful life.

I encourage you to look at what no longer works for you.  Decide to choose success.  Then have the courage to look at the beliefs holding you back. They only stand in the way of you becoming the absolute best version of yourself.
                                                             

If you're ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call to see if I can be of service.  You can ask any questions you have and we'll determine if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

Let go of old emotions to find happiness

If you find yourself unhappy more of the time than you'd like, the culprit might be old emotions you haven't resolved.  If you want more happiness, it's important to let go of old emotions. These can be regrets, disappointment, or anger.  Any negative emotion that continues to roll around in your mind, over and over again isn't healthy for your well-being.  

Sometimes you're not even aware to the extent you've been holding on to these old hurts.  You might have decided to just "move one" from a hurtful exchange or experience without completely processing the hurt or disappointment you suffered.  This is usually the typical way of dealing with pain.  We're told to "get over it", "man up", or "stop whining".  But when something hurts us deeply, it isn't always easy to just let it go.  Yes, we might move on in our life, but the hurt is still stored in our body and our cells.

Any unresolved emotion stays in our body until we're able to process it.  These emotions can eat  away at our peace of mind even causing depression.  They've also been shown to impact our health negatively.  All great reasons to explore any emotions we might be holding on to.

So, if  you aren't sure if you've completely let go of a past incident, or the accompanying emotions, you might want to explore them further.  But, how do you identify them?  One way is to write about it.   Sit down and compose a letter or email to the person, telling them how you felt.  Or you could write an email to a friend you'd consider telling this to.  You don't need to send the email, but compose it as if you were going to.  Just writing about it can help bring up any emotions you're still storing.  

As you write, see if any emotions do come up.  If so, take note of them.  You can write them down on a separate piece of paper to work with later. A second way would be to talk to a friend about what happened. As the emotions surface, again, take note of them so they can be resolved.

Another way to process past hurts or emotions, is to use EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, or Faster EFT.  Both methods go right to the core of the problem and help dismantle and dissolve them. To use EFT, you identify the issue and then you talk through the emotions as you tapt. Any remaining emotions generally pop up, even ones you weren't aware of. You might already know what some of them are, but didn't realize they still feel as intense as they do  This means they're still active and need to be dealt with.  Any time negative emotions are felt, EFT is an excellent way to lower their intensity and get rid of them completely. 

Sign up to receive a free EFT Tapping Chart with directions

Below I've given some examples for using standard EFT tapping for releasing old emotions.  This is a general overview. The most success is achieved by being specific to your circumstances. The more specific, the better the result.

Beginning with the setup phrase, - which states the problem, tap on the karate point  while saying 

the following phrases:

Even though I have these unresolved feelings about ...... (insert a name or event), I know my feelings are valid.

Even though I was hurt over this incident, I accept myself and have decided it's time to let these emotions go

Even though I suffered from this, I honor my feelings and I'm letting them go for my own good.


Now for the tapping rounds.  Tap on each point below while saying the accompanying phrases:

Eyebrow: All of this hurt and these unresolved feelings
Side of the eye: I'd like to let them go
Under the eye: I'm not sure I can, or that I want to
Under the nose:  I know these emotions aren't good for me. Maybe it's time I considered letting them go
Collarbone:  All these remaining feelings. It's time to let them go
Under the arm:  I'm letting them go because my happiness and health are worth it
Liver point:  All these emotions. They're moving out of my body now
Top of the head: All these old emotions. I'm letting them go and that feels right. 

If you feel resistance as you tap, you can do another round with phrases such as, "I really don't want to let them go. I was hurt very badly. I was disappointed and I don't want to let them go.  But a part of me knows I'm better off getting rid of them.  Maybe I can let them go a little at a time.  Maybe I can let them move out gently ."

After doing these rounds, you should feel some relief.  If you do find extreme resistance, it might be something you'd want to work on with an EFT professional.  Many times it's easier for an outsider to help sort out and resolve challenging emotions, Especially if they've been there for awhile.

Once you've felt some relief, it's time to go to the next round:

Eyebrow: Now that I'm feeling some relief, I choose to let all of these feelings go completely
Side of eye: It's time to let them all go and I choose to do that now.  I'm letting all of these old, unneeded emotions go and that feels great.
Under eye: All of these emotions.  I'm grateful I discovered them and that they've moving out.
Under nose: Any remaining emotions - they're moving out now.
Collarbone:  I now choose to allow happiness into my body
Under arm: I'm letting in happiness and contentment
Liver point: I choose to feel relief and happiness and I allow those feelings to build within me
Top of head: These feelings of happiness.They're building in me now and that feels right.

By adding in a round of gratitude and positive emotions, it helps to bring in patterns of happiness and contentment.  Once you practice these patterns of allowing in happiness, it's easier to experience them. You'll find yourself noticing them more and more. 

Eyebrow: I'm so grateful I finally let these feelings go
Side of eye: Now that I've let them go,  I have more room for happiness and contentment
Under eye: I choose to feel more gratitude, happiness, and contentment
Under nose: I'm grateful for the ease I'm feeling
Collarbone: I'm letting in happiness
Under arm: I'm letting in contentment
Liver point: I'm feeling better already
Top of head: I choose happiness, contentment, and gratitude


It's normal to feel emotions. The idea here is to experience them, process them, and then let them go so you can move forward in your life with ease and happiness.  

                               

To identify and release any blocks you have to finding happiness, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals.  You can ask any questions you have and we'll see if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

Santa Barbara, CA 93101