Creating Ease in Your Body

During these challenging times of COVID-19 and world events, it can be easy to drop into doubt, uncertainty, and fear.  Just hearing the news on a regular basis can add to these feelings of tension.

When you're exposed to ongoing negative news, it can create tension in your body. This isn't good for your stress levels or your health. 

Is COVID real? Of course, it is.  Should you take precautions in boosting your immune system, washing your hands, and being aware of coming into contact with others who might have COVID?  Of course.  However, when we are truly safe, even if it's only in the present moment, we need to acknowledge it and take it in. This gives our bodies a break and a chance to let down.


When you let down and relax, you give your immune system a break and a chance to remain healthy.  Letting go of unnecessary stress is key to maintaining your health.

Reminding Your Body To Relax

Something you can do to alleviate this stress is to implement a daily routine of "reminding your body" to relax. 

If you've ever experienced trauma or a frightening event, you know how your body can tense up.  Unfortunately, when there are ongoing traumas or dangers, our body can get locked into a state of perpetual tightness.  Our adrenals stay on high alert rather than letting down once the danger is over.

There are steps you can do to change this.  You can consciously remind yourself that "At this moment, right here, right now, I am safe"  Because it's true, right?  If you think about right now, as you're reading this, there is no imminent danger. 
Yes, COVID is still here.  People's jobs can be uncertain.  But at this very moment, you're ok.  We can perceive dangers that could happen in the future as being currently a danger to ourselves.  This isn't true. 

Steps to reset your body to a state of calm

  1. Start your day out with a positive outlook.

• The outlook you head into your day sets the tone for your entire day.  Why not be pro-active and set it to one of optimism, hope, exploration?  
• YouTube has a large variety of motivational videos.  You can start your day with one of these.  Here are a few as examples, or to get yourself started:
  • 4 Minutes to Set up your Day
  • Start Your Day Right
• When you set up your day with a sense of positivity or a great intention, you set the tone of your entire day.

2. Remind yourself that you're safe.

• Consciously take the time to remind yourself that in the present moment you're safe.  You can think this, write it, or even tap it in.  I'll include some tapping phrases you can practice as a reminder

3. Find ways to remind yourself to relax.

• Like any habit, the more you repeat it, the more it becomes second nature.
• Whether it's setting a daily reminder in your phone to give yourself a reminder to breathe deeply and just relax, by reminding yourself to relax throughout the day, or doing some rounds of tapping (EFT), you're training your body to stay in a state of relaxation and ease.

4. Create more routines of self-care.

• Yoga
• Meditation
• Walks in nature
• Creating pieces of art
• Scheduling in downtime just for yourself

5. Find and list the things in your life that you're grateful for.

• By shifting your awareness from worry or concern, to what you love or appreciate about your life, you're giving yourself more uplifting and relaxing thoughts.
• By being in a state of gratitude, even for a few minutes,  you're resetting your mind and your body to a more relaxed state.  It also opens your heart and allows you to receive in a much easier way.

EFT Tapping Phrase to Create Ease

 Here are 2 different examples of how to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping), to create ease in your body.

Example 1: Doing the full round of tapping:
In this exercise you'll tap through the standard form of EFT starting with the setup phrases:

Setup:
Even though I have all of this tension and worry in my body and in my life, I am ok.
Even though I'm feeling so tense and anxious, I deeply and profoundly accept who I am and how I feel.
Even though I have all this tension in my body, and the world is so uncertain right now, a part of me knows there are ways I can create ease in my body.

Starting on the eyebrow point and continuing with the rest of the points:

• All of this tension in my body and my mind.
• All of this tension. I'd like to let it go.
• I wonder if I can let it go?
• Maybe I don't need to be hypervigilant all of the time
• I wonder how I can create ease in my body? 
• All of this tension in my body. It's ok to let it go
• I wonder if that's possible?
• Maybe I can release it a little at a time, in the way that feels right for me

Relax and take a breath and then continue onto the 2nd round of tapping for this exercise:

• All this tension in my body.
• All of this fear and doubt.
• Relax and let it go.
• All of the need to be in control.
• I wonder if I can let go of the need to know and just relax?
• Maybe I can just relax and open up to curiosity and exploration.
• Maybe I can trust that I have everything I need to make the right decisions

• Maybe I just didn't realize I could do this.
• All of this tension.  Release and let it go.
• All this tension.  It's ok to let it goIt's safe to let it go
• It's time to let it go.
• All of this tension in my body, in my thoughts, and in my emotions. 
• Release and them it go.

Then take a deep breath.  Hold onto your wrist with your other hand and say, "Peace"  As you do, think of a very pleasant or relaxing memory and just let yourself sit with this for a few moments.
By feeling the memory of a pleasant memory and then holding your wrist, you're anchoring this feeling deeper into your body and your present time.
You can change any of the words to fit your particular sensations or thoughts as you go through the exercise.

2nd Method of Tapping:
This is one you can do throughout your day when you notice tension in your body:
Here you would skip the setup phrase because you're already aware of the issue you want to work on, which is the feeling of tension.
You can either tap on one point, or you can go through the whole series of points - whichever feels right for you.  There's no wrong or right here.

• I'm safe in my body.
• Right here, right now, in this moment, I am safe and I choose to relax
• I'm safe and my body can relax
• It's ok for me to relax
• All of this tension I'm feeling, relax and let it go
• It's safe to let it go. 
• It's ok to let it go.
• I am safe
• I choose to release and let it go.
• In this moment I choose to recognize that I am safe, right here and right now
• I can now let down my guard and relax my body
• I choose to relax my body and feel at ease

Discounts During Covid

As a way to support others during these challenging times, I've decided to offer a limited number of discounts for the months of July & August. If our economic shutdown continues past that point, I'll look at extending the discounts.

If you're interested in seeing if the work I do could be a support for you right now, email me and we can do a 20-30 min complimentary all to explore how this work can be a support for you

Letting Go of Self-Judgment

When you hold non-judgment and compassion for yourself, you create substantial benefits for yourself.  You hold optimism, increase your level of success, and even increase your immune system's ability to function at optimal levels.

Not only that, but you're able to fully explore all your options and your abilities. It gives you permission to take a chance - to really go for greatness without the encumbrance of judgment or blaming.

When you let go of being critical of yourself, you free yourself up and you also add courage to the mix.  Rather than judging the steps, you take, instead, view your actions and decisions with curiosity.  

• What worked?
• What didn’t work?
• What can I alter to create better results?
• Is there more I can pursue in this area of thought or action?

When you give yourself permission to just be present with what is, you open a whole new horizon of possibilities.

What if you had an amazing supporter? Someone who believed in you.

Here’s something to consider.  How would your work, actions, or decisions change if you really knew you had someone in your life who believed in you and who supported everything you did?  How would that feel?  If, no matter what you did, this person said, ”Well, good for you for taking a chance.  Were these the results you were going for?  And if not, is there another direction or tactic you could take to get the results you want?  What else could you do, in a different way to support your desired goal?” Or, “That was great!  You look like you’re really on track here.  I have so much belief in you.”  

No criticism.  Just a deep desire to be the best source of support they could be.  And even be a sounding board for your decisions.  

, 

How would this change your performance or even your view of an upcoming decision?  What would your level of confidence be? 

Let that person be you

Now that you’ve imagined this other person and all of the benefits they would bring to your life,  let that person be you.  Step into that role for yourself.  Be your best champion.  Leave judgment at the door and go wholeheartedly for what you want, or what you believe.  

Give yourself permission to mess up and make mistakes.  When you let go of the need to be perfect, you open up so many more options for yourself.  You’re free from judgment or criticism and you're able to really fly.

Give yourself permission to be both brilliant & imperfect, all at the same time 

Realize that’s it’s ok to make mistakes.  It’s part of being human.  You can be both perfect, brilliant, and imperfect.  Because when you know this, it’s such a feeling of freedom.  You’re giving yourself full permission to explore all of your options.  

The ones that work, you keep.  The ones that don’t, you let go of. By being kind to yourself, which means allowing for whoever you are in that moment, you learn more about yourself, and how to move forward in a much easier way.  

Life is hard enough without adding extra judgment to it

The kinder you can be to yourself, the easier life becomes.  Life already sends us enough challenges without us adding self-judgment to the mix.  Let yourself off the hook.  Allow yourself to make mistakes, and celebrate your courage in taking a chance. 

Complimentary Coaching Session for Healers & Healing Professionals

Are you struggling to find your purpose right now? Do have clarity on your next, best step? During this time of crisis, we are all in a position of self-reflection. What haven’t you done that’s been a desire goal or burning desire? What areas of your life do you want to improve or change?  

While this crisis is certainly challenging in many ways, it also gives us the chance to re-evaluate our lives, and to decide what truly works for us, and what we’d like to leave behind.  

In an effort to give back and offer support to people wanting to gain more clarity on the direction they’re taking and steps to take in this direction, I'm offering 2 complimentary coaching sessions. This is for t a limited number of healers or people working to create change in their life, or within their community

My believe is that when we help others it has a ripple effect and benefits even more people.

During these coaching sessions, we'll focus on honing in on and identifying your key goal or desired outcome.  I'll also support you in discovering the steps you can take to achieve your desired outcome.

Your desired outcome can be anything you want to create in your life. From change, to clarity, or as simple as bringing more self-care into your life. It might even be creating new programs to help others or create positive change in their lives.  Or it can be just gaining a sense of clarity around what your purpose is - what you came here to be.

If you're interested in seeing if these 2 coaching sessions would benefit you, send me a message.

Together we can all make a positive difference for the people in our lives and in the world at large.

Growth In Relationships

Growth in relationships is inevitable.  It it doesn't happen, the relationship can grow stale and even fall apart. 

Every relationship we have is a vehicle for growth and change.  The little "Challenges" and arguments give you the opportunity to explore areas of your life and yourself, where you can address old wounds and emotional beliefs that no longer serve you.  By doing this, you're given the opportunity for growth and healing.

If you don't grow, there's a risk any relationship will eventually end. When someone isn't able to move beyond past emotional hurts, resentment builds up.  This resentment, over time, erodes any relationship.  As a means to endure, and as a survival mechanism, we tend to shut down our emotions.  But when you do, you also shut down your ability to feel joy and love as well.

Growth in Marriage = Growth in Self

All we grow up, we're presented with difficulties and challenges.  It's part of life and the maturation process. These difficulties cause us to make decisions about other people and life in general. The decisions are made in an effort to keep us safe.  "This person is safe.  That person is scary", etc.   As a species, we're meant to survive. These decisions help us know and identify situations or people who can be threatening to us.   We then go about trying to avoid future encounters with someone or something that represents a similar danger.

The problem with these decisions, is they're usually made at a young age - before we have the ability to apply logical thinking. Logical thinking hasn't developed at an early age.  When we're young, the brain is functioning in "survival mode"  So something that appears scary to a 3 yr old, wouldn't necessarily bother an adult.  Unfortunately, fear goes very deeply into the brain and the decision-making process.  It represents a true danger to survival.  As we mature, this deep fear doesn't go away.  It's buried in the subconscious mind until a similar situation arises.  This is what's referred to as "being triggered".  It doesn't have to be something that's equally as frightening.  It just has to be something similar in nature.  When this happens, the old feelings of terror emerge and the person reacts to the present situation as if it's the original one.

As you go through life, you can be hurt, emotionally by another person. All of these little hurts and encounters are recorded in your subconscious.  When someone you're in a relationship with does something that represents one of these past dangers or hurts, the past memory is activated, unconsciously, and you can react - not always appropriate to the situation.  The other person has "pushed your buttons".

When this happens, our reaction many times is much more intense than the situation calls for. But what can you do about it?  Are you stuck with an instinctual "knee jerk" reaction?  One that possibly can do damage to your current relationship?  Or do you have a choice?

The answer is "yes, you do have a choice".  You can choose to examine whether or not your reaction was appropriate to the situation.  You can choose to not let your reaction cause damage to the marriage or relationship.  You can also pull your partner aside, in a calmer moment and ask them to share their experience of what happened.  You can gain enormous insights into how you react from another person's perspective.

Once you have these insights, you can go to work on examining and healing any past events or beliefs that get in the way of maintaining love and security within, not only your marriage, but within yourself.

While not always easy, it will benefit not only you in the growth you achieve, but also all of the relationships in your life.  When you  do the work of letting go of past hurts, fears, and upsets, you'll feel an amazing sense of calm in your life.  The growth in yourself, as well as the growth in your marriage is the reward.

Surrender to the process

When you stop to see how disagreements in any of your relationships are an opportunity to see something from another perspective and to examine whether or not there are past hurts you'd like to let go of - once and for all, it becomes easier to surrender to the process. When you do, you welcome in growth, happiness, and a sense of calm to your life. 

For an excellent book on understanding and learning to successfully navigate through your romantic relationships, check out: Be Loved For Who You Really Are  The book covers all of the stages of love, from Stage 1, falling in love, through the more challenging aspects.  The authors discuss ways to navigate through them and arrive at Stage 4, which is the same level of joy and excitement you had during the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship, except now you have a broader sense of acceptance and maturity, and are able to stay in the "honeymoon" phase. 

To your happiness......Sumi

Book a complimentary call to learn about letting go of the blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

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