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What are my values?

I've had people say, "What are my values?  And why would I need to know them?"

If you want your life to be fulfilling and less stressful, then you want to be doing what resonates with you as a person.  When you understand what your core values are, you can make choices that are in alignment with what's important to you.  The end result is you have more ease in your life.

If you don't know what your values are, you're liable to find yourself heading in the wrong direction and struggling to find happiness.  You'll feel at odds with your life or career choice if your values don't line up with what you're doing. If you don't know what your core values are, you'll be making decisions in your life that aren't necessarily in your best interest.




What exactly are values?


There are different types of values.  Core values, as defined by Your Dictionary are fundamental beliefs of a person or organization.  Personal values, according to Wikipedia, are " relative in that they differ between people, and on a larger scale, between people of different cultures." There are also absolute values which are independent of individual or cultural views.  The values we're talking about  here are personal core values - what's important to you?  What are the things you can't live without?

The importance of understanding and identifying your own values, is that it helps you structure your life in a way that's better suited to who you are.  It helps define whether or not a certain career or even a relationship is a match for you. If you understand your values, it's much easier to make decisions about something when it presents itself to you.

If family is important to you and you're offered a job all the way across the country or overseas, this goes against one of your core values. But if freedom, adventure, or financial stability are also important, then, depending on the job, you might consider it. If the job were only a 2 yr stint with great pay and the chance to travel, it might be a fit. When you determine which of these values are more important than the others, you can make the best decision. You might be more willing to do something short term, if it matches some of your values, but not all of them.

"What are my values and how do I define them?"


Now that you understand how values can impact your life, you're probably wondering how to define them.  To start with, what's important to you?  What are things you just can't live without?  Is it important for you to make a difference in the world?  Do you value growth and learning?  Start to define what makes you happy as well as what bothers you.  When you know what you don't like, it usually tells you what you do like.  For example, if it bothers you when someone treats a waiter unfairly, then you'd know that either "fairness" or "kindness" are things you value.

You can begin to make a list of what you consider your values.  Don't worry about placing them in any particular order. Once you have the list, then you can go back and determine which ones are at the top of your list.  By doing this, you'll then have a blueprint of what's important to you. When faced with a decision, you'll have a better understanding with what lines up with your true needs and beliefs. 

List of Values


The following is a list of some values. While this is only a small list of values, these are examples to get you started thinking about what's important to you.

  1. Abundance
  2. Acceptance
  3. Balance
  4. Beauty
  5. Cooperation
  6. Courage
  7. Freedom
  8. Growth
  9. Happiness
  10. Helping others
  11. Love
  12. Loyalty
  13. Responsibility
  14. Security
  15. Trust


Spend some time defining your values and you'll find decision making much easier than before.

When you're ready to take your life to the next level, or you just want to move through a current challenge, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals and see if we're a mutual fit. 


Contact Info:
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

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Your perfect imperfections

Your perfect imperfections are just that - perfect!  They make you unique and they make you lovable.




They're exactly what another person finds attractive, appealing, and lovable.  If we were all the same, we'd end up bored with one another.  It's in learning to love and embrace our own uniqueness as well as our partners, that leads to full and lasting love.
Sometimes these differences can lead to disagreements and even annoyances.  But as you learn to understand these differences and embrace them, it expands your ability to love the person you're with.  It not only expands your relationship, but also your ability to love as well.  To do this, you have to be willing to take the chance of being yourself - showing others your imperfections.  Remember, your perfect imperfections are just that - perfect for who you are in the world.  When you're fully you, all of the things that make you unique, come out. It means letting go of any judgments you might have, not only about yourself, but about your partner.   It's a process and takes time.  The payoff though, is a deep and lasting love.

Why let your true self shine?

When you allow your true self to shine, you give the world a glimpse of your talent, your uniqueness, and what is different about you.  In a world where so many things are the same, it's a breath of fresh air when someone really lets their true self shine through. It also gives other people in your life, not only a great example, but permission to be themselves as well. Dare to be you.  You'll be surprised at the results.

Your perfect imperfections make you interesting




Think about the times you've met someone who has a career or background that's completely different from anyone you've ever met.  Don't you find this person intriguing and interesting?  They have unique experiences you can learn about.  It's the very idea they've been or done something you aren't familiar with, that makes them interesting!
People are forever reading about celebrities and what they're doing in their lives.  This fascination again, stems from the fact that they're different than most people.  Many of them have quirks which people find attractive.  These celebrities have learned to embrace who they are and even capitalize on it.  When you take the chance to show yourself, people feel how genuine you  are. There's a magnetism to it.  And allowing your spouse to see this side of you gives them the opportunity to love you for who you really are.

In their book, Be loved for who you really are  Judith Sherven and her husband, Jim Sniechowski explore how our differences add to our relationships - making them fuller.  They discuss the 4 stages of love. From the "honeymoon" phase, to the 2nd and 3rd stages where challenges and differences come up.  They give you a blueprint on what to look for, and how to navigate through these challenging stages. You learn to love your partner for all of their uniqueness.  Finally, if you grow and work through the 2nd and 3rd stage, you reach the 4th and final phase This phase is one of a full and lasting love that also includes the spark and freshness of the "honeymoon" phase.  At this stage though, it also includes the depth of all aspects of love, allowing you to be loved for who you are.

So go ahead.  Embrace your perfect imperfections and show the world and the people around you your unique self.

To identify and release any blocks you have to finding happiness, book a complimentary call to discuss what you'd like to work on and if the work I do is a match.


Contact Info:
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

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