How can I find my passion?

"How can I find my passion?"   What if you aren't even sure you have a passion?  Or maybe it's been so long since you really loved doing anything in particular.  We've all heard about “Living our passion” or “Living a passionate life”.  But many people aren't able to access what their passion, or passions are.    

What can I do to find my passion?

We knew what we loved doing as a child.  So why is it we have trouble tapping into those passions now?  As we grew up, we were told by many well-meaning people, that it was more responsible to do things that earned us a living.  To focus on “responsible things”, rather than dreaming - that we should leave those desires and passions in our childhood.   But if we do, we lose the very essence of who we are as people.  When we live our life out loud and with passion, we‘re essentially living our purpose.  Our joy is our gauge to knowing what we’re meant to be doing in this life.  Is it really irresponsible then, to do the things we’re passionate about?  I don’t believe it is.

What I've found, is if we aren't fully alive, if we aren't doing and living our passion, we lose the very essence of what makes us unique.  We lose sight of what we can accomplish in this world.  Actions driven by purpose and passion are the ones which make the most difference in the world and to the lives of others.  Passions drive us to strive for more, to be better people, and create from the heart.

Identify What Your Passions Were As a Child

If you've ever thought, "How can I find my passion?" start by identifying what it was you liked doing as a child. Make a list.  Add to it the list of things you have any interest in now.  It doesn't necessarily have to be your passion, but something you find interesting. This is a starting point.  As you begin this process, more ideas will come to mind.  For now, just begin the process and follow where it takes you.  Your more you allow your creativity to work, the more the ideas will come.  Don't judge them.  Just write them down.  You can edit them later.  If you criticize each one as they pop up, you'll close down your creativity.  Once you have your list, go over it and keep the ones that appeal to you the most. Then take action on them.  Start to explore ways to do them, learn more about them and become involved.

What's holding you back?  Is Self-Judgment Getting In The Way?

Many times our judgments about our self  keeps us from taking action. Just the idea of thinking about a particular subject can bring up a whole list of judgments or criticisms we have about ourselves.  The first place to begin is to see if you're harboring any frustrations, judgments, or resentments about not being able to find your passion. If you do have any of these, your focus and energy are being pulled away from what you want to do, which is to discover your passion.  Letting go of the these thoughts gives you more freedom to explore what it is you do want.

 A tool I use with my clients to let go of any judgments or blocks they have to discovering their passion, is EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique.  I use both EFT and FasterEFT to quickly move through blocks or limiting beliefs.  By tapping on specific acupuncture points while talking about an issue, the conscious and subconscious mind are able to make rapid changes. You're able to access and release beliefs, blocks or emotions that get in the way of what you want.

Take A Chance - Experiment With What You Want To Do

Once you've let go of any judgments you have, and you're willing to explore what it is you're passionate about, just begin.  Be willing to try different things.  Until you do, you won't know if it's a match for you.

How To Use EFT To Clear Judgments

Below are some examples of  EFT rounds you can use to start the process of discovering your passion.  The more precise you can be with what holds you back, the better.  These will get you started and you can build from there.

To Receive a Downloadable EFT Chart with directions, click  here

If you're looking for more detailed information on using EFT, a great resource is the website The EFT Universe. Here you'll find a wealth of books, audios, and even workshops to further increase your success with EFT.  EFT can be used on anything.  

Start with the set-up points.  While tapping on the set-up points, repeat the following phrases:

  • Even though I'm frustrated because I have no idea what my passion is, I accept who I am and how I feel. 
  • Even though I haven't found out what my passion is, maybe I'm afraid to find it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  
  • Even though part of me is afraid to find my passion because then I'd have to take action on it, I deeply and profoundly accept who I am and my feelings about this.

Now for the rounds done on the other tapping points:

Eyebrow: I can't find my passion
Side of Eye:  I'm frustrated because I don't know what my passion is 
Under Eye: I wonder what's holding me back from finding it?
Under Nose: Maybe I'm afraid.  This fear and hesitation about finding my passion
Chin: If I find my passion, then I'll have to do something about it  
Collarbone: Maybe I'm not ready to take action on my passion 
Under armBut this hesitation is holding me back
HeadMaybe I can start letting go of some of this hesitation and  fear 

Take a breath.  Then check to see how you feel and if any other thoughts came up.  When these thoughts pop up, they're information on what you need to look at.

Now for the 2nd round - Begin with a 2nd set-up phrase:

  • Even though a part of me is afraid to find my passion, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
  • Even though I've been holding back and haven't found my passion, I've decided to let go of some of this resistance and fear
  • Even though a part of me is still holding back, a bigger part of me knows what that passion is and I choose to go with that bigger part of me

Tapping round:

Eyebrow:  A part of me is still afraid to find my passion, but I'm going with the part of me that's excited to find my passion
Side of Eye:  I've been  holding back, but it's time to let go of the fear and hesitation
Under Eye: I'm letting those go now
Under Nose: I'm letting go of what holds me back from discovering my passion
Chin: I can discover my passion and then decide when and how I take action
Collarbone: I don't have to take action right away
Under arm: I can do it in the timing that feels right for me
Top of Head: I’m letting go of my hesitation and opening to finding my passion now

Take a breath and see how you feel.

This is just the start.  As you move through the tapping exercises, you'll begin to feel more relaxed, open, and willing to discovering your passion.  Keep tapping.  If any more blocks on finding your passion crop up, tap on those as well.  There can be many layers of emotional blocks to discovering your passion.  Keep up the tapping until the ideas come to you and your resistance to finding them dissolves. 

Here's to discovering and living your passion.

If you want to explore what blocks your passion, success or happiness, book a complimentary call to discuss your goals and to see if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:
(805) 265-9063
Santa Fe, NM 87506

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Setting boundaries

Do  you find yourself overwhelmed by taking on too much or helping others at your own expense?  If you answered "yes", maybe it's time for setting boundaries.  

setting boundaries

The lesson these days many of my clients are dealing with, is how to keep from being affected by the emotions of those around them.  They're finding that setting boundaries is even more important than ever.  Right now there are quite a few chaotic events happening, along with the emotional responses of people to them.  It’s easy to get sucked into feeling the same emotions when you're surrounded by them, especially if the people around you are constantly venting about them.  This is where setting boundaries can help.  Sometimes, just being around someone who is constantly complaining can cause us to feel negative about our lives.  It's contagious.  Setting boundaries for yourself in this instance is important to your own well-being.

Setting Boundaries - You Can Do It

 If you decide you want to be supportive, but in a healthy way where you aren't brought down by another person's complaints or issues, the first place to start is in identifying what your boundaries are.   One place to start is by deciding how much time and energy you're willing to devote to another person's challenges.   Another thing to consider, is whether or not this person is only sharing the negative aspects of their life, or do they also share the good times?  Some people can get into the habit of only complaining. They seem to think the only way they're able to get attention is by only telling you about their struggles.  This isn't a balanced relationship and ends up just wearing you down if that's all you receive from your interactions.  Healthy relationships are composed of both the good times and the bad.

If you find yourself constantly walking away from an exchange with someone, feeling drained or exhausted, that's a pretty good indication that you're giving too much to the relationship.

setting boundaries worn out

Recognize Your Value - All of Your Relationships Need to Be Balanced 

It's time to recognize that you're important and need to do what takes care of you as well.  We can't weaken ourselves in order to be a support to another person.  If you do, in the end, you diminish what you're able to share with the rest of the world or with others in your life.  If you spend your time drained because of another person's need to vent or complain, this isn't helping anyone.  If someone is constantly in the dumps, by getting it all over you, they aren't learning to move out of this way of existing.  When you refuse to participate in a relationship, whether friends, family, or your significant other, you give the other person the opportunity to grow.

How to Set Clear Boundaries

So how do you set clear boundaries when you want to be supportive of others?  How do you hold your boundaries when someone you care about is the one complaining?  The idea is to hold compassion for others, while maintaining your own boundaries.  In order to be the most supportive to others, you actually need to allow them to go through their particular challenges in order for them to grow.  You can feel compassion for them and offer nurturing support.  When you're  able to stay grounded and centered through it all, it gives others a place to connect to.  But the important part is to recognize what you need in order to keep the relationship healthy and balanced.  If you get sucked in emotionally, you lose the ability to give healthy support - support where the other person can learn what they need to do in order to heal.

Once you've identified what it is  you need, it's time to verbalize them to others.  This can be the tricky part, but once done, you'll be surprised at what a relief it can be.  You might have to practice doing this if, in the past,  you haven't spoken up for what you need.  I've found that the best way to express your needs, is to do it as nicely as possible.  Let the other person know you're doing it as a way to take care of your needs so you're better able to be supportive of them.  In an equal and caring relationship, people want what's best for the other person as well as themselves.

Some people aren't going to like it.  If they're used to being able to spout misery and complaints all over the people around them, well, you're most likely not going to get a good response from them.  It doesn't matter. What matters is that you learn to advocate for yourself.  Once you start doing this on a regular basis, in a caring way, you'll find people are less likely to even start crossing your boundaries. You'll also notice how more grounded and emotionally responsible people come into your life.

Sometimes Another Person Just Needs to Vent 

To be clear, I'm not saying we shouldn't be there for our friends or family, or to sit and let another person vent occasionally.  But if it's a constant thing, or the other person isn't taking steps to rectify the situation they're complaining about, they aren't interested in getting better.  They just want company in their misery.  You really don't help someone by being a participant in that behavior.

If you're ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call to see if I can be of service.  I'll answer any questions you have and we'll determine if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

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