You underlying beliefs run your life
The biggest block that stands in the way of you receiving what you want, are your beliefs. These are what drive all of your actions.
They’ve been called Limiting Beliefs and Negative Beliefs. But all they are, in their simplest form, are the beliefs your mind came up with as a way to make sense of the world and all that you’ve experienced.
If you want change, change the beliefs that don’t support you
Your mind is only doing its job to keep you safe
Listen, this isn’t a diabolical plot to hold you back. Our bodies and our minds are geared towards helping us - not hurting us or holding us back. We are completely geared towards survival, so any belief we came up with was done as a way to make sense of the world and to just survive.
But here’s the catch. When our minds came up with the most basic, or core beliefs that we hold, they were made at a time when our brains were still quite immature. The logical part of our brain, which would tell us that the shadow in the corner isn’t a scary monster, but actually our jacket hanging on the chair, wasn’t developed or available to us in our early years.
Because of this, the decisions we made, (and consequent the beliefs we came up with), aren’t always valuable or even true in our adult lives. They were valid then, in their own way, but they can get in the way in your current life.
What you can do to create change
So, what can you do? You can start by finding out what your key, driving beliefs are. They aren’t always obvious, but are strongly held in your subconscious - and they are “running the show”. Some of these beliefs are, “Play it safe”, “Don’t stick out or shine”, “Be careful, you might fail”. They tell you to stay safe because this is what they're designed to do. It's their job.
Except, if what you want is a full and fulfilling life, one filled with joy and success, you need to examine whether or not these beliefs are helping you, or hindering you. If they fall into the latter category, it’s time to let them go.
How to examine the beliefs that get in your way
There are several ways to discover what your beliefs are. To begin the process, take some time to sit and think through the following questions. And as you do, it’s helpful to write down any insights or memories that come up. These are roadways into what your beliefs are, or could be. It’s a journey and a very informational one that gives you the insights you need.
1. Ask yourself what the phrases or statements you heard your parents, family, or friends say as you were growing up. This has a real impact on how you view the world. You’d be surprised at how much these statements can take hold and even become a part of your identity. If you think about it, it makes sense. As children we naturally trust our caregivers and those around us to show us the way, and to take care of us. With our parents in this position, we believe everything we're told or shown.
But here’s the hitch. Your parents or caregivers are repeating what they heard or learned from their parents. Many times people don’t examine what they’re told and just go along with it as if it’s gospel. But this isn’t always the case. In fact, most times it’s not. They repeated these statements as a way to help you because it's what they believed. But not all of those statements empower you or encourage you to be your best self.
2. What experiences did you have growing up? Were they challenging or traumatic? If they were, then your view of the world could be, “Life is difficult”, “The world isn’t safe”, “Other people aren’t safe”, just to name a few.
There are several ways to discover what your beliefs are. To begin the process, take some time to sit and think through the following questions. And as you do, it’s helpful to write down any insights or memories that come up. These are roadways into what your beliefs are, or could be. It’s a journey and a very informational one that gives you the insights you need.
1. Ask yourself what the phrases or statements you heard your parents, family, or friends say as you were growing up. This has a real impact on how you view the world. You’d be surprised at how much these statements can take hold and even become a part of your identity. If you think about it, it makes sense. As children we naturally trust our caregivers and those around us to show us the way, and to take care of us. With our parents in this position, we believe everything we're told or shown.
But here’s the hitch. Your parents or caregivers are repeating what they heard or learned from their parents. Many times people don’t examine what they’re told and just go along with it as if it’s gospel. But this isn’t always the case. In fact, most times it’s not. They repeated these statements as a way to help you because it's what they believed. But not all of those statements empower you or encourage you to be your best self.
2. What experiences did you have growing up? Were they challenging or traumatic? If they were, then your view of the world could be, “Life is difficult”, “The world isn’t safe”, “Other people aren’t safe”, just to name a few.
Your experiences shape your life
What you’ve lived through has shaped your life and how you express yourself in it. Our experiences actually change how each of our brain develops, and continues to develop. Studies on the brain by Niall Duncan showed how the brain is affected by adverse childhood experiences.
As stated in an article in The US Library of Medicine, National Institutes of health, "Research in humans and animals has shown that negative childhood experiences (NCE) can have long-term effects on the structure and function of the brain. Alterations have been noted in grey and white matter, in the brain’s resting state, on the glutamatergic system, and on neural and behavioural responses to aversive stimuli."
The study and implementation of Neuroplasticity now shows how our brains can be changed and rewired in positive ways.
What you’ve lived through has shaped your life and how you express yourself in it. Our experiences actually change how each of our brain develops, and continues to develop. Studies on the brain by Niall Duncan showed how the brain is affected by adverse childhood experiences.
As stated in an article in The US Library of Medicine, National Institutes of health, "Research in humans and animals has shown that negative childhood experiences (NCE) can have long-term effects on the structure and function of the brain. Alterations have been noted in grey and white matter, in the brain’s resting state, on the glutamatergic system, and on neural and behavioural responses to aversive stimuli."
The study and implementation of Neuroplasticity now shows how our brains can be changed and rewired in positive ways.
Change your view of life
Instead of viewing your experiences as negative, which many of them might have been, try viewing them from a position that empowers you. Look at them as, “How can I move past this, let it go, and learn something valuable from it?” Because everything you’ve gone through has brought you to where you are today. And because of this, you have a unique understanding of something another person wouldn’t have. You can actually use this understanding to help others, or even to just help yourself by holding more compassion for yourself. But it does tend to give you a deeper appreciation of what other people are struggling with. When you go through a difficult challenge, it helps you to hold compassion for other people who are also struggling. It makes you more human.
3. What “examples” did you see growing up? What did the people in your life do, feel about certain things, or how did they express themselves? As you grow up, your brain learns by example and by viewing others. All of this, even when unspoken, also has impact on how we view life and the world in general.
4. Another way to find out what beliefs are running in the background of your life, is to stand back and look at your life.
- Is your life easy?
- Do you struggle with money, relationships, or confidence?
- Do things come to you easily, or do you find that everything is an uphill battle?
- What is present in your life is formed by your internal beliefs.
Objectively looking at your life will give you valuable clues to what you might want to change or keep. They're all indications of what your subconscious mind believes. The good news here though, is that you can change what you believe, and consequently, vastly impact your life in positive ways.
Instead of viewing your experiences as negative, which many of them might have been, try viewing them from a position that empowers you. Look at them as, “How can I move past this, let it go, and learn something valuable from it?” Because everything you’ve gone through has brought you to where you are today. And because of this, you have a unique understanding of something another person wouldn’t have. You can actually use this understanding to help others, or even to just help yourself by holding more compassion for yourself. But it does tend to give you a deeper appreciation of what other people are struggling with. When you go through a difficult challenge, it helps you to hold compassion for other people who are also struggling. It makes you more human.
3. What “examples” did you see growing up? What did the people in your life do, feel about certain things, or how did they express themselves? As you grow up, your brain learns by example and by viewing others. All of this, even when unspoken, also has impact on how we view life and the world in general.
4. Another way to find out what beliefs are running in the background of your life, is to stand back and look at your life.
Objectively looking at your life will give you valuable clues to what you might want to change or keep. They're all indications of what your subconscious mind believes. The good news here though, is that you can change what you believe, and consequently, vastly impact your life in positive ways.
Release the beliefs that no longer serve you
Once you’ve written down any memories, events, or statements from your past, you can then start to examine what your limiting beliefs might be. You might know some of them right off the bat. But, if you don’t, ask yourself, “What might be the belief be that I came away with from this.......(example, experience, or statement)?
For instance, if your parents struggled with money, some normal, common beliefs would be:
- Money is hard to come by
- Life is a struggle
- I never have enough for what I need
- You have to work hard to make money
- I’m not worthy
These are just a few examples of beliefs that would be tied to a similar home situation. Each person is individual in what their particular mind comes up with. What your mind creates won’t be the exact same as another person, so honor whatever it is you feel or discover. This is important because it’s truly honoring and respecting who you are and what you need to look at in order to make improvements in your life.
The more precise you can be, the better because then you have a better understanding of what drives you. This is a fascinating process, and it doesn’t have to be challenging. The best way to do this is to find techniques which support the process in being simple and easy. You don’t need to struggle or suffer in order to create great change in your life. I feel fortunate that I’ve been able to learn ways which help create change in simpler, easier ways. There are numerous techniques that anyone can learn and use, either with a professional or on their own.
When you support yourself by approaching your beliefs in this way, change is inspiring - not scary or challenging.
Once you’ve written down any memories, events, or statements from your past, you can then start to examine what your limiting beliefs might be. You might know some of them right off the bat. But, if you don’t, ask yourself, “What might be the belief be that I came away with from this.......(example, experience, or statement)?
For instance, if your parents struggled with money, some normal, common beliefs would be:
These are just a few examples of beliefs that would be tied to a similar home situation. Each person is individual in what their particular mind comes up with. What your mind creates won’t be the exact same as another person, so honor whatever it is you feel or discover. This is important because it’s truly honoring and respecting who you are and what you need to look at in order to make improvements in your life.
The more precise you can be, the better because then you have a better understanding of what drives you. This is a fascinating process, and it doesn’t have to be challenging. The best way to do this is to find techniques which support the process in being simple and easy. You don’t need to struggle or suffer in order to create great change in your life. I feel fortunate that I’ve been able to learn ways which help create change in simpler, easier ways. There are numerous techniques that anyone can learn and use, either with a professional or on their own.
When you support yourself by approaching your beliefs in this way, change is inspiring - not scary or challenging.
The final step - Create new positive beliefs
When you know what the limiting beliefs are, you have the information to change them to more positive and empowering beliefs. A belief such as, "Life is a struggle" could be changed to "My life is effortless and I move through the world with ease".
The sky's the limit with what you can create in your life. Be daring, experiment, and then do the work to come into full alignment with your new, positive beliefs.
If you're having trouble with any of the above steps, I offer a 20-minute free consultation to discuss any changes you'd like to make or goals you want to reach. Having an outside perspective helps give you a clearer view of what steps to take, or blocks your success.
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When you know what the limiting beliefs are, you have the information to change them to more positive and empowering beliefs. A belief such as, "Life is a struggle" could be changed to "My life is effortless and I move through the world with ease".
The sky's the limit with what you can create in your life. Be daring, experiment, and then do the work to come into full alignment with your new, positive beliefs.
If you're having trouble with any of the above steps, I offer a 20-minute free consultation to discuss any changes you'd like to make or goals you want to reach. Having an outside perspective helps give you a clearer view of what steps to take, or blocks your success.
sumi@sumijones.com
(805) 265-9063
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