Balance In Relationships

To have harmony and ultimately happiness, it's important to have balance in relationships.  All of your relationships.  Whether it's friendships, marriages, or even work relationships, balance is important.

Balance in Relationships

Many people don't think about balance.  It's not always something that comes naturally.  Because the human brain is designed to be efficient, it makes decisions about whatever we experience.  These can be  events, people, relationships, really anything.  The brain then places these into categories.  This is true of objects, people, or relationships. Once the brain has made this decision, it goes about relating to the person, object, etc, in the same manner each time.  It's meant as a way to simplify life.  So, why is this a problem?

How the Brain Can Undermine The Balance in Relationships

How does this relate to balance?  Because the brain is being efficient, it  has a set way of viewing things.  Once your brain has categorized a relationship, it takes a lot to change this opinion.  It takes effort to consciously change how you view a certain relationship and the balance within it.  It's much easier to have placed the object, relationship, etc into a category and then relate to it in the same manner each time.  It's more efficient.  But it can take a toll on you or your interactions with people.

How does efficiency impact a friendship?

How this impacts relationships is,  if you have a friend who always seems to have problems or disasters in their life and you rush in to help out - lending emotional support or any other kind of support, their brain categorizes you as "the helper, saver, or person to turn to, in disasters."  They can unconsciously view you as the person they go to when they have a problem.  If they aren't  aware of the brain's tendency to categorize, they view you in only one way - the receive, you give.  The relationship then becomes unbalanced. Whenever you need support, they don't seem to be there.  They might not step in to help.  It's as if they have blinders on and can't comprehend your need for support or help.

This type of relating can happen on either end.  In some instances, you might be the helper, and in other relationships, you might find you lean on someone you know.  While it's great to have emotional support, it needs to be done in balanced ways.

Generally speaking though, people tend to stay in the same category with all of their relationships.  If you tend to be "the giver", then you're most likely "the giver" in all your relationships - from work to home.  You generally give to everyone you know.

But this takes a toll on you.  You don't receive the support or nurturing that's important to everyone.  While giving is an honorable thing to do, it isn’t fair if that's all you do.  It isn’t fair to you, and ultimately, it isn't actually fair to the other person.  When you act in a balanced way and expect others to do the same, you're giving them the opportunity to grow as a person.  To relate to you in a fair and balanced way.  The relationship only grows stronger because of it.  If not, resentments build and the relationship begins to deteriorate.

When you're able to give as well as receive, you feel more balanced.  It gives you a feeling of completeness because you're acting in a way which is more holistic to the human emotions.

You Have a Choice 

The good news is, now that you know how our brains function, you can make a conscious decision about all of your relationships.  You have a choice.  You can make the choice to have balanced relationships in all areas of your life. Not only will you feel much better and lightweight, but you'll also feel personally empowered.  Your relationships will grow and thrive. 

Change Isn't Always Easy - For both sides

You might've decided to go ahead and make changes.  However, some people might resist this change.  Remember, our brains like to be efficient.  They're just doing the job they were created to do.  But when you decide to change course, even when it's for the better, you'll be rocking the boat - even a little.  It can come as a surprise to other people.  They've been relating to you in a certain light and now suddenly you've changed.  They might not all react in a positive way.

That's okay.  Do it anyway.  You can do it gently, but firmly.  By doing this, you're empowering them to be better and happier people - with healthier, more balanced interactions.  You're giving them the opportunity to participate in  healthy, alive, and thriving relationships.  When you demonstrate  balance in your relationships, you're giving a powerful example.  They then have the choice to participate in the same way. 

As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  Lead by example. Dare to take the first step in your happiness and the happiness in all of your relationships. 

To discover ways in which you can create balance in your life contact me to book a complimentary call.  We'll discuss how I can be of service to you.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Take Action and Be Willing To Make Mistakes

To live a full and vibrant life you have to be willing to take action.  Take action and be willing to make mistakes.

You're going to make mistakes - It's part of the game

Anything worth doing comes with mistakes.  You can’t do anything great if you aren’t willing to push the envelope at least a little in what you’re capable of doing.  If you play it safe and only do what you’re good at, it’s boring.  You don’t challenge yourself to see exactly what you can do in life and you certainly don’t grow as a person.

Take a chance.  When an idea comes to you, go with it.  Explore the possibilities.  At least learn what you can about it - the process, the ups and downs of doing it.  Only then can you make a conscious decision if it’s something you want to pursue.

What will your life be like in 5 yrs if you don't take a chance?

Think of this.  If you don’t try anything new or step outside your comfort zone, what will your life be like in say 3 yrs?  What about 5 yrs?  Does the picture look promising?  Be hones with yourself.

Life is for living.  For putting yourself into what you do, full force and with passion.  I don’t care if you’re outside raking the leaves. Engage in it and enjoy what you can about it.  Find the bright side to it and let yourself drop into that.  It could be:
1. You’re exercising
2. It’s a beautiful, breezy day (if you like breezes)
3. You’re making your place look better.  It feels great to have a neat yard.

Whatever it is, whatever you’re doing, find a way to make if fun, or at least enjoy some aspect of it.  If you cant, DON’T do it!  Find a way to put the fun into all of your efforts.  If you can’t find anything that’s fun, maybe you need a reality check on how you view things.

There's nothing wrong with reality checks

We sometimes need a wake up call to show us where we’re just coasting - not reaching our full potential.  Sometimes life pulls you off course and you don’t notice you’ve fallen into a kind of rut.  It’s easy to fall into the same kind of thought patterns.  It happens.  Not a big deal. Find a way to get back on course.  Read something inspirational.  Take a course. Hire a coach.  Do whatever it takes to get back in the game - full out with all of you engaged.  You might even consider implementing ways to do a check on your thoughts, moods, and actions from time to time.  

Do what works for you

The best thing you can do for yourself is to set up a strong system that supports your success.  A system that keeps you in alignment with your strengths, abilities, and creativity.  What you bring to the world is important and makes a difference for everyone around you.  Find what works for you and then do it, courageously.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Choose Wisely The People You Surround Yourself With

The people in your inner circle, the ones closest to you, have a profound effect on you.  Your success, your mood, and the choices you make in life.  Because of this, be discerning.  Choose wisely.

Do your friends root you on?

How do your friends respond to your successes, setbacks, or when you tell them about a goal you're going for?  Do they root you on, say they believe in you, or if you've had a setback, tell you that you'll do better next time?  

Or do they:

• Point out where you're going to fail?
• Tell you they never thought it was a good idea to begin with
• List all the reasons why you shouldn't do it
• Do they feel compelled to tell you every way imaginable the ways in which it could go wrong?

Someone giving (asked for), and constructive criticism is different than a person being critical or closed-minded towards a new idea or venture.  Don't mistake the two.  The person who's in your corner is giving you constructive ways to look at something.  Someone who's criticizing you is just pointing out everything you're doing wrong - in their eyes. 

Choose wisely so you're inspired by the people around you - it helps!

When the people around you are going for their own goals, pursuing their dreams or passions, it can be motivating.  Sure, sometimes we look at someone and think, "Gee, I wish my life was going as well.", especially if you're going through a rough patch.  But in the end, it demonstrates what's possible.

It's also a great example for you. What can you learn from their effort, their courage in pursuing what they want, and the steps they've taken?  It's easier to follow another person's example of how they've been able to follow through, or dealt with challenges, than it is if you didn't have this example.

The best friends are the ones who support you, but who also call you on your stuff

There's nothing more valuable than a person who (lovingly) tells you where you're not living your full potential.  Not someone who criticizes you, but someone who says," Hey, what's going on with you?  I know you're capable of doing better."  And if you're going through a challenging time, they're willing to listen and let you talk it through.  

Choose wisely - it makes a difference

Choose wisely.  The best friends are the ones who celebrate your success, believe in you as a person, and help you get back on your feet when life knocks you down.  Accept nothing less in your life.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumihouston.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Fe, NM

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Your Life Experiences - It's Your Choice To Decide What You Do With Them

In life we're presented will all sorts of situations, relationships, and challenges.  How you react to them, what you take away from them in terms of life lessons, is entirely up to you.

It's Your Choice 

Will you let them mold you in ways that don't benefit you?  Will you allow them to create a smaller version of yourself?  Or will you decide they don't define you and you'll do what it takes to learn from them and rise above them?  It's your choice.  The decision, while not always an easy one, is up to you.

Choose to view your challenging situations as a learning tool for yourself

Part 1 - Acknowledge exactly where you're at.  What are you feeling?  Disillusioned, depressed, angry, or rejected?  There all kinds of valid emotions that come up when we're faced with a challenging situation or relationship.  Any emotion you feel is valid.  Right here, right now, realize that, and if your tendency is to downplay how you feel, stop it.  If you pretend you aren't feeling what you're experiencing, you lower your ability to effectively deal with what's going on and to let go of it once and for all.  Don't do that to yourself.

But what if my emotions feel too intense?

There's a reason people avoid their emotions.  Our emotional responses can be intense. It's a valid concern because most of us were never taught how to quickly and effectively deal with our emotions.  This is where EFT, or The Emotional Freedom Technique comes in.  I use this technique with my clients, along with a combination of FasterEFT and Ask & Receive as a way to completely collapse the intensity.  This way the client is able to quickly move into a place of empowerment, choice, and taking action.  They've dismantled the hold these emotions have over them and they're able to think and react from a better place.

When you drop into a calmer state, you can objectively step back and decide what, if anything you can take away from the situation.  You're given the opportunity to make choices that are in your best interest and that keep you from feeling stuck in any situation.  Give yourself this gift - the gift of being able to accurately assess where you're at without getting caught up in overwhelm. Then make the decisions or choices that are best for you.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumihouston.com
(805) 265-9063
Santa Fe, NM

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Let Go of Past Mistakes and The Hold They Have On You

Hanging on to past mistakes only slows you down.  If you focus on past mistakes, it keeps you from moving forward with ease and from accomplishing what you want. 

You make mistakes when you take a chance on growth 

If you aren't making mistakes, you're playing it safe.  You aren't pushing yourself to be the best you can be.  Part of growing as a person, is taking a chance and making mistakes.  You have to take calculated risks to see what you can achieve in life.  When you make a mistake, realize you need to look at another avenue.  That's all a mistake is.  Tell yourself, "I went this way.  It didn't work out. Regroup and change direction or change tactics."  

Mistakes don't define you - They inform  you

So you tried something and it didn't work out.  Good for you for having the courage to try.  Now take an objective look at it and see what you can learn from the results.  Where can you  make tweaks? Do you need to scrap the whole project or goal?  Is it something that can work out with some changes? As you look at ways of changing it, or moving on, you learn what works for you and what doesn't. This way you don't have to repeat the same mistake.

Put your focus on moving forward - Not staying in the past

Once you've decided what changes you need to make, let go of the mistake!  Don't keep going over it again and again.  And do NOT beat yourself up for having made a mistake.  

From a logical approach, realize staying stuck in an emotional tape loop causes you to become afraid of trying anything else.  It also zaps you of your energy and enthusiasm.  Ask yourself - "Is this the best use of my time and my thought process?  Or am I better served by learning to let it go, forgiving myself, and focusing on how I want to proceed from here?"  

You'll realize your time and effort is much more productive by letting go of any need to beat yourself up over it.  Beating yourself up is:

• Not going to motivate you
• Not going to keep you from making other mistakes because that's how you learn
• Not going to create enthusiasm for any other projects you want to do

What it will do is keep you stuck in one place and prevent you from moving forward.  It can stop you dead in your tracks from accomplishing what you want to do in life.  Is that really in your best interest?

Do what works for you to let go of being stuck in the past

Whatever method works for you to move on from your mistakes, do it.  EFT and FasterEFT are great tools I use with clients.  They help to acknowledge your feelings about a mistake or results you hadn't wanted,  so you're able to let it go. It's important you honor your emotions because then you can quickly move through them.   With them out of the way, you can then calmly take away any information or knowledge from the experience. 

Be willing to take the time to work through the emotions in an efficient manner and then get on with your dreams and your life.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be yourself

To be happy, successful, and content in life, surround yourself with people who not only accept you exactly for who you are, but who demonstrate the willingness in their own life to fully express who they are.  These are the people striving to be the best person they can be - a person who fully embodies their truth.  When you're around people like this, they inspire each other to live their truth - fully alive.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"

The people you surround yourself have an effect on you - more than you imagine.  As John Rohn, the American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker stated, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with".  In my own life, and in my work I've seen how true this is.  

When you're around people who really go for it in life, you're inspired to do the same.  When one of you has a setback, the other people or person encourages you to get up and try again.  It's through their words and their example that you're encouraged. 

What we observe affects how we act

Art Markman, P.H.D, wrote an article  in psychology today, on how infants were influenced in their actions by what they saw - just by viewing pictures of people.  In a study, infants were shown different photographs.  The infants who were shown a photograph of more than one person, even when those people weren't looking at each other, reacted differently than the infants who were shown photographs of only one person in the picture, or images that didn't look at all like people. 

The infants shown the photos of two people together, would later help an adult pick up something that the adult had dropped.  They were much more likely to help and interact with the adult.  The infants who viewed the other photographs didn't help at all.

If the behavior of infants is affected simply by photographs of people, imagine the impact your closest friends, family, or significant other have on you when you're interacting with them in person. Especially on a daily basis.

You're wired to fit in - why it's important

Humans have an innate need to fit in and be accepted by the group.  We've evolved as social animals and are biologically wired this way.  Being accepted represents survival to us on a very basic level.  Because of this wiring, we conform in order to fit in, both in a conscious way and an unconscious way.  The need to conform can lead to anxiety when we don't feel like we belong. We'll even go out of our way, subconsciously to sabotage our success in an effort to belong to our group of peers. Because of this wiring, the people you spend the most time with have a profound effect on your life.  

If what you want in life is to be able to fully express who you are - the strengths, gifts, and desires you want to bring to the world, be selective in who you spend the most time with.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Healers, Intuitives, Sensitives - Fully Own Your Power

Healers, intuitives, and sensitives, the time is here to fully own your power.  To work in conjunction with what you have access to.  Not in a way that is outside of yourself, but in a way that brings it into the physical body where it remains.

The Source of your Work is Not Outside of Yourself

There are many powerful energy workers and people who work in the area of healing work.  What they tap into, Source, The Universe, God, whatever is a person's own belief, has been thought of as outside of ourselves. The higher energy outside of ourselves is called different names.  For the sake of simplicity, I'll refer to it as Source.

We're all a part of Source energy.  To believe it only resides outside of us lowers our ability to fully work with this energy.  When you connect in and set the intention that it always flows through you, you have more ability to help create greater change in the world.  By setting this intention, you declare your own part in the creation of change.  In essence, you own your power.

Your Job is to Have the Clearest Emotional, Mental, and Physical Body

If you look at Source as "over there", "above me", etc, you are in essence saying, "I'm not worthy". As my guides have said, "You are all worthy.  Your job is to do the work on your emotional, mental, and physical bodies so you can access and hold more of this energy.  That is your work.  When you're clear, you allow in more of what's needed at this time.  This is what's meant, in part, as "Heaven on Earth."  You're bringing the Divine into physical reality."

When we speak about Source energy, the norm is to refer to it as separate from us.  As outside of us.  But we all are a part of Source energy.  To create more powerful changes in this world, changes that are truly needed at this time, you need to own the part of you that is Source.  Expect more support. Call in more support.  Intend that Source dwells within you and flows through at all times.


As people who work with energy or others who pray or meditate, the tendency is to connect in with Source only when you're doing that - instead of always being connected in, flowing it through your body, and accepting that this is not only possible but a good thing.  If you feel Source is outside of you, you lower your ability to create real change. Dare to explore what comes about when you invite in Source to reside within your physical being.

Access All Parts to Be More Effective

We are being asked to call this in.  To allow it to live in our physical bodies where the flow becomes even more effective.  We're living in the physical world. It's great to talk about how amazing it feels to connect into the Divine and the wisdom that is available to us all.  But if we're not anchoring it into our physical beings where it can more easily interact with the rest of the physical world, we're doing ourselves and the rest of the planet a disservice.


When you combine Source energy with the physical body, you have access to all parts of creation and you become even more effective.  By calling in and owning that you are a part of Source, you raise your vibrational worthiness.  You're declaring your intention and your worth, which sets into motion a more powerful response.  You magnetize your energy and your intentions to help bring about positive change, and The Universe responds.

     Book a complimentary call to learn about, or discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumihouston.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Fe, NM 87501

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Don't Ignore Your Feelings - They Tell You What's Important

Don't ignore your feelings.  They tell you what's really true for you.  They're also the road map to your fulfillment and happiness.

Too often we're told to "Get over it.  Forget about it", or "Don't focus on it, it'll only bring you down."  People mean well when they give this advice, and there is truth to focusing on happiness or at least feeling calm.  But first you have to discover what your emotional response is trying to tell you.  Otherwise you bypass what you can learn.  You also bury the emotions deep within your body where they aren't forgotten, only silenced for the time being.

Not only that, but more importantly, you send the message to your brain that "Your emotions aren't important", which equates to, "I'm not important."

Think about it.  If a part of you, your reaction to something you experience, isn't important, then underneath that, how can you be important?  This is the message you send to yourself over and over again when you pretend you don't feel a certain way.  It actually undermines your ability to be happy.

But Aren't Emotions Messy?

Sometimes.  But the other side of it is, when you bury them, they only fester and come out later. Usually in either an over-the-top way, or even as an illness or ache in your body.  There are techniques and tools where you can quickly move through your emotions without feeling traumatized by them.  I use EFT and FasterEFT as a way to help clients acknowledge and quickly move through what they're experiencing.

Both of these techniques very quickly lower the intensity of what someone is feeling.  EFT also helps bring awareness to the person about the entire problem.  When the brain drops into this calm state, it gains an understanding about the situation and how to move through it.  It also knows exactly what steps they might need to take.  I've seen people come to amazing insights. They incorporated all parts of themselves and came up with a conclusion that worked for them. 

Don't Be Afraid of Emotions

Emotions are here to stay.  They're what make you feel alive.  Many people struggle with
"Not feeling passionate about anything.  Or they'll say,  "I wish I knew what I was passionate about."  

The more you "practice" something, like burying your emotions, the more the feeling of "being numb"becomes your default.  It closes down your capacity to feel alive. Your mind doesn't suddenly switch from ignoring emotions to feeling them.  Whatever you practice, whether consciously, or unconsciously, you become good at.

If you want to feel passionate about life and feel fully alive, you have to be willing to acknowledge all of your emotions.  The idea is to experience them in a way that feels safe for you.  A way that supports you finding out exactly what you need to know.  In this way, you can let go and move on with all parts of you, releasing these emotions so they don't come back to haunt you.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Fe, NM 87506

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

.

Create Your Best Life From the Big Perspective

If you want to create your best life, do it from the big perspective.  Get in touch with who you truly are, and then create from there.

Now, more than ever it’s important to be in touch with who you are - your authentic self.  The part of you that has all the answers to what’s right for you.  This is the part of you that brings you to life and fills you with passion for life.

Life becomes an adventure.  You begin to trust in the process of living, growing and learning.  This sense of trust grows and you aren’t as overwhelmed by life in general.

What blocks this connection?

What then blocks this connection to self?  A few of the things that get in the way are:

• Lack of time - not making this a priority in your life
• Overwhelm - being too busy to slow down and settle into yourself
• Not believing it’s possible
• Not believing it’s worth doing
• Not believing in yourself - that you don’t have much to offer
• Fear - fear of “Who would I be?”, or “What would I have to do, if I did this?” In other words, fear of the unknown.  
• Fear of other people's reactions

All of these are valid reasons.  But are you really willing to let any of then get in the way of you creating the life you were meant to be living?  Or block what you can contribute to the world?  The “world” can just be the people around you.  You don’t have to have large expectations.  You can, but it’s not necessary to make a big difference.  If you just impact the people around you in positives ways, you’ve done a lot.  Remember, it’s a ripple effect.  You impact them - they impact the other people in their lives and it ripples out into the world.

Be willing to look at the reasons you hold back or stop yourself from fully being you

To let go of any blocks you have from expressing yourself in an authentic way, you need to be willing to look at what fears or doubts you have.  This is the only way to dismantle them and get rid of them.  I love using EFT with clients, because it's simple to learn and highly effective.  But whatever method works for you.  Just do it.  You won't be sorry. 

When you connect to your authentic self - you create from a place of power

When you have the courage to really drop into who you are and what drives you, you're energized, inspired, and you create from a place of power.  You have more answers on a direction to take, your decisions come easier, and your overall energy level and enthusiasm rise.

Take a chance on slowing down, connecting in, and then living from that place of being.  

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Connect to Your Inner Wisdom to Live Your Most Powerful Existence

Connect to your own inner wisdom to live your most powerful life.  

We're all given an inner guide that lets us know what's right for us, and what's not.  Learn to trust this "gut instinct".   Instead of looking outside of yourself, learn to trust what's right for you. It will never lead you in the wrong direction.

By connecting with who you are, who you truly are, the reserves you have are limitless.  You have access to your inner wisdom and guidance for what's perfect for you.  When you're connected to your true self, you’re tapping into your well of inner strength and inner wisdom.

What if you knew that by connecting you were getting the absolute best guidance for your life?

You are your own best expert on what’s right for you - what steps you should be taking, and the decisions you need to make.  No one else.  It doesn’t matter how learned a person is or how experienced they are, they don’t know what’s right for you. They might have great advice or knowledge to give you. Once you've heard them out, it’s up to you to make the decision that feels right for you.  

If you’re not in connection with the part of you that possesses this knowledge, you’re doing yourself a disservice.  Your ability to make the best decisions is compromised.  If you knew that by connecting you were getting the absolute best information or guidance for your life, why wouldn't you do it?

Life is busy, but make time for yourself

Life is busy.  We’re all busy.  If you want access to all parts of you and your inner wisdom, you have to slow down.  You have to make the commitment of giving yourself what you need to connect to the silence within. This means making it a habit to spend time with yourself without any outside distractions.  By just spending even a few minutes a day slowing down the internal chatter, breathing into your being, and dropping into your truth, you're giving yourself the best support you can. 

What holds you back?

What if you'd like to do this, but you find it hard to commit to it?  If you can't commit, ask yourself why? When you connect with  the part that has all the answers, you're giving yourself the opportunity to create your best possible life.  If you find it difficult to make this a priority, ask yourself what's getting in the way?

Sometimes limiting beliefs get in the way.  "It won't work for me", "I'm not good enough", "I can't put myself first, or "I have too many other things to do before I can do this" are all examples of limiting beliefs. "Not deserving" is another belief that gets in the way for many people.  

When you know what the beliefs are that are standing in your way, you have the chance to collapse those beliefs so you're able to move into alignment with your true self.   If you take the time to work through these beliefs, you'll find you come from a much stronger place and can make big strides in your life.

Book a complimentary call to learn discuss ways to release any blocks that stand in your way.

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below

Set yourself Up for Success by Taking Small Steps

If you want change of any kind, start gently. Don't overwhelm yourself and sabotage your success by trying to take on too much.  Or by trying to take too big of a step.  

Sometimes you're ready to take a big step and that's great.  Go for it, full force.  But sometimes you're just trying to get started on a project, a career change, doing something new, or just trying to get out of a slump. And other times, you hit a standstill in your progress and you're looking to jump start your momentum.  If any of these scenarios are where you're at, start with steps that are doable.  Doable for you.  

Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself with someone else.  This is about you and what you need. And don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to what you've done in the past.  This is about now. The past is over and you can't change it.  Don't waste your time thinking back.  If you do, you're taking your focus off of what you can work on now.  Deal with where you're at, in this moment.

Sometimes it's hard to let go of comparing yourself to either past successes, or past failures.  If you do, using EFT is a great way to let go of the memories or emotions associated with those past experiences.  You can use EFT to collapse the hold they have over you and your present life.

Set yourself up for success- the process of small steps

What if you just can't get the motivation to even begin?  Start there.  Wherever you are, that's where you start.  If you're lacking motivation, look at what keeps you from beginning.  What are you afraid of?  Yes, it's fear that causes lack of motivation, procrastination, and overwhelm - that habit of taking on way too many projects so you just don't have the time or energy to do what it is you say you want to do.

Don't judge yourself over this.  Just recognize it's your body and mind protecting you from a perceived threat.  

What keeps you from action?

What keeps anyone from action?  Good old fashioned fear.  It's our survival mechanism jumping in when we feel threatened.  And taking action or making changes can feel threatening.  It doesn't matter if you're excited about doing something or feel compelled to do it.  

When we start to change something, fears can pop up.  "What if I fail?  What if I'm not good enough, smart enough, or have enough backing to do it?"  "What if I make a fool of myself?  What if the people around me react negatively about it?"  These are all genuine fears.  

We're part of the human race - challenges come with the territory

We're alive. We've lived through difficult experiences.  It's part of being human. Another part of being human is our minds making decisions about these past events so we don't have to experience anything similar to them again.  But many of those decisions aren't relevant to what you're going after. They're holdovers from when you were little.

Have the willingness to look at the fear.  Examine if it's relevant to what you're attempting to do now, and then learn to move through it.  When you have the tools to deal with fear, it becomes easier to release.

No worries - fear can be dealt with

Fear.  Not pleasant, and not fun. But...it's what drives us to protect ourselves.  It helps us survive.  All good when it's appropriate.  But if it holds you back, it's not serving it's purpose.   Instead of avoiding fear, see what you can learn from it, and then let it go.

Identify what the possible fear, or "downside" is to what you're striving to do.  Then tap through it with EFT.  When you collapse what's behind your fear, you rid yourself of what's blocking your success.

Sometimes there's more than one layer

There might be several layers or different aspects of what's holding you back.  Many times, this is the case.  Just address each one as they come up.  You might also find that as you come closer to achieving success, or your goal, new fears crop up.  You might suddenly find yourself sabotaging the success you've achieved as you move forward.  Sabotage can be anything from missing a deadline, not returning a call, or just plain procrastinating.  That's ok.  Deal with the fears as they come up. 

Peel back and examine each layer until you're fully on your way to success.  Don't lose your enthusiasm if you have to work through several layers.  Instead, recognize that you're moving forward and remember to "tap in" the progress you've made.

By tapping in the positives, you'll be more willing to keep going until you reach your goal.  If you focus too much on "what's wrong", working on yourself can become a drag.  Do yourself the favor of tapping in what's going right for you and the progress you are making.  

Sign up for either an EFT Tapping Chart, or an EFT tapping exercise for letting go of past failures.

If you want to explore what's holding you back and ways to release the hold it has over you, book a complimentary call. We can discuss your goals and see if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you'd like to receive notifications of events, discounts, and future blogs, sign up below