Success. What Really Blocks It.

Success is a process.  A process of making a commitment and then consistently following through.  So what really blocks it?

What blocks your success are the beliefs you formed as you grew up.  These are known as "limiting beliefs" because they limit how you view the world. Your strongest beliefs were formed when you were between the ages of birth and 7 years old.   These beliefs were developed when your brain was still in the phase known as the development of the primitive brain.  Because of this, they are the strongest and most intense beliefs you have.  The primitive part of the brain is responsible for our survival.  Because of this, whatever beliefs you formed during that phase represent survival.  This means if something feels threatening or challenging, it can feel as if it threatens your very survival.  If any of your beliefs are in opposition to what you want in life, they stop you from easily achieving success. Your need to survive or protect yourself against threats will cause you to sabotage your own success.

Your habits didn't happen overnight

Who you are, your habits and your beliefs didn't happen overnight. They were formed as you went through life and had different experiences.  Sometimes, you'll remember an experience you haven't thought about for years.  But you find it's actually influencing the decisions you make today.  Even something as simple as being much younger than your siblings and not being able to keep up with them can make a lasting impression on you as you not being "good enough".  Our minds are creative and can come up with very different beliefs or decisions.  Many times these decisions are nothing like what our adult brain would decide.

Keep in mind you that while you can make big changes in a short amount of time,  be patient. Sometimes there are many layers to an issue or belief that need to be looked at and let go of.  

To create real and lasting change work consistently

If you want real and lasting change, it takes consistency.  A commitment to change and the consistency of looking at the habits and beliefs that don't support your success.  You have to look at the events and people in your life who affected how you view the world.  Your beliefs about past emotional events is what blocks your success.  Commit to working through these events in a consistent manner and your life will change. 

It doesn't have to be a painful process

Taking a look at events or interactions that formed your beliefs doesn't have to be painful or drawn out.  With the development of EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique,  you can quickly access the memories and change how you view them.  Once you have a different outlook on them, you change how they affect you and your future actions.

The more change you want, the more you need to look at the many layers of what you've lived through.  We tend to repeat the same patterns of interaction over and over again.  Once we have a certain belief, we somehow recreate it in our life in different situations, but with the same result. 

As an example, if you had a controlling mother, you'll find you have relationships in your life with controlling people - usually a woman.  These can be friends, lovers, teachers or co-workers. When your brain equates a controlling woman with either love, or "women in power", it becomes your "normal" version of women.  We then accept this type of behavior in our lives.  Because our mothers were the first woman in a powerful position in our lives, our view of "women in power" is formed by this.  When you realize, that if she didn't care for us or feed us, we'd die.  It's the basic law of survival.  Because of this though, it becomes an issue of "survival" and has a much stronger hold on your reactions.

When you get to the point of saying, "I've had enough of controlling people/women in my life", then you're ready to look at why you have these types of people in your life and how to change it.

Work on the layers gradually

You don't have to re-experience an event or past interaction with the same intensity as the original situation in order to release the hold it has on you.  Your subconscious mind knows exactly what you're working on.  It's there to keep you safe. It you start pushing yourself to look at very intense memories before you feel comfortable doing it, you won't get very far.  And you certainly won't be willing to do it very often.

Instead, realize that the thoughts, feelings, and memories that you're able to deal with or look at will come up when you're ready to examine them.  This doesn't mean you should avoid them.  What it means is to gently move through them in the timing that's right for you.  You might find you'll get to all of the layers in one sitting.  Or it might take several attempts or weeks even  for all of it to dissolve. That's ok. Because your own inner guidance knows exactly what's ready and what's not.  Trust this. What you'll find is that by honoring where you're at and dealing with each memory or situation in the easiest way, you'll move through them much quicker.  Not only will you be more willing to deal with them, but you'll actually find you're making bigger changes in your life than you'd imagined possible.

Each time you release a memory and re-frame it so it no longer has an emotional hold on you, you step more and more into a more positive way of viewing not only yourself, but also life in general.  You'll feel immediate relief.  Consistency is key.  Keep working on all of your limiting beliefs so you can create the life you want and deserve. 

In my next article, Celebrate Your Wins - Big & Small, I'll go over the importance of building in mini-celebrations to keep you motivated and moving forward.

If you're ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals.  You an ask any questions you have and we'll see if we're a mutual fit. 

Contact Info:
sumi@sumijones.com 
(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

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